Business development doesn’t have to mean putting on a mask. Too often, people equate professionalism with stiffness, or think being “business-like” means being overly formal. But the truth is, the more comfortable you are in how you show up, the more effective — and enjoyable — business development becomes.
That doesn’t mean throwing formality out the window. It means adjusting your level of formality to suit the situation, the person you’re speaking to, and what you’re trying to achieve. I call this the Formality Model, and it’s a helpful guide for navigating the wide range of communication styles we use in professional settings.
Let’s walk through it.
At the most formal end of the spectrum is written advice — think legal opinions, technical reports, or complex proposals. Here, clarity, precision and tone matter a lot. Formal language provides structure and credibility. It also protects the reader (and you) from ambiguity. This is definitely not the place for emojis or casual metaphors!
Next comes oral advice. Still professional, still structured, but more natural. You can read your audience, clarify points later if needs be, and show personality. You’re building trust and client relationships by being present and human.
During negotiations, formality drops another notch. Here, warmth and flexibility matter as much as logic and content. You’re navigating interests, reading signals, leaning on your active listening skills and building momentum toward agreement. Too much formality can freeze the flow.
In a 1-to-1 meeting with a client, you’re likely at your most intuitive. This is where relationships are cemented. If you’re too stiff, it’s hard to build the kind of rapport that leads to loyalty and long-term success. You still need to be credible, but being relatable matters more.
Then there’s presenting, where energy and authenticity are key. You’re in front of a group, possibly on stage or screen, and formality here is more about structure than tone. You want to engage people, not lecture them. Think clear, warm, and conversational.
And finally, at the most relaxed end of the spectrum is with networking. This is where you can be your most informal self. You’re not pitching. You’re connecting. You’re showing interest in people and letting them get to know you. The more at ease you are here, the more you are doing business development your way, the more naturally relationships grow.
So, where should you be on the spectrum and when? That depends. The trick is to be as formal as you need to be — no more, no less. The goal isn’t to impress with jargon or polish, but to connect with others in a way that feels natural and respectful in the context.
When you give yourself permission to relax the formality where it’s appropriate, you’re more likely to enjoy the process. That enjoyment shows; actually it’s contagious. People want to work with people who are real, competent, and comfortable in their own skin.
So whether you’re giving advice or meeting someone over coffee, tune into the moment. Adjust your tone. Be professional and be yourself. That’s when the best version of you comes through.