The art of not having to be right

Many leaders have made a career out of not being right. Be that Christopher Columbus (who thought he was leaving for India for in 1492) or a myriad of current world leaders as they fumble to confront today’s complex issues.

Many of the executives I work with are full of angst about having to have the right answer. For many of them, be they professionally trained or otherwise, being right is part of who they are, what they expect of themselves and what others expect of them.

Whilst this is important, often it means that self-doubt can lead to a lack confidence and less of a desire to try something new. As a consequence, personal development opportunities for the individual and their colleagues, and growth for an organisation can be limited.

Positive psychology suggests that we should be constantly trying to do different things, push our own boundaries, take risks in a measured way and, as a result, we and those we work with will grow and learn.

How do we do this when we are constrained by ourselves, our role and the expectations around us? In simple terms, take a moment to look back and honestly appraise the great things you have already achieved. Then, try different things but in a measured way.

One of the most rewarding starting points with any new coaching client is to get them to do a review of their past successes. Have them think through the things that have gone well, their achievements, and risks they have taken that have paid off. Hiding these successes from ourselves is a human trait; we are designed to focus on the things that have gone less well. However, we all have a library of successes that many of us actively conceal from ourselves.

Take strength from what you have done in the past and use this to boost your confidence to try new things in the future. You wouldn’t be where you are today without having taken a degree of risk in the past. Why not continue to stretch yourself and take those mini risks moving forward to drive your own personal growth.

++++++++++++++++++

Catch phrase!

Having a small locker of phrases with which to present new ideas can be really useful. Sometimes, I find myself saying things like: “my instinct tells me that …”, “a first review suggests that …”, or “let’s test something new”. On one level these are caveats that enable us to back out of suggestions or ideas that don’t work out. In another way, they are also signals that you are taking a risk and want those around you to take that risk with you. It’s almost as if you are asking to be joined in a lab, and this is a way of receiving permission to test and learn with your tribe.

I’ve used this technique on many occasions and, as I do so, feel that I am de-risking a commitment to an outcome, particularly when that outcome is really hard to achieve or uncertain. 

++++++++++++++++++

The next thing to do is to try new, different things. In saying this, I’m not suggesting that you do something massively radical or put all your bets on one outcome. Think of it in terms of taking considered mini-risks, testing new things and slowly stretching yourself over time.

 This could be offering to lead a project or follow up on a client lead, things which you might not normally do. It could be that you’ve found out something new in relation to a business opportunity but you are not yet sure whether or not it’s one that’s going to work. Try offering up your opinion, or asking for executive time on your opportunity, but do so with caveat, saying it in a way that means if it doesn’t turn out right it’s not a disaster for your or the business.

 The truth is, we can never always be right. Though this might be our goal (which in itself might be limiting), if it is an expectation more realistic ambitions can be constrained. Think it through, take sensible risks, try things in safe environments, test and learn. Over time you’ll be surprised at what you can achieve. Yes, you may fail on occasion, but if you look back you’ll get confidence by observing how far you have come and get a real sense of what you can really achieve moving forward.

Resilience

Resilience for you and your team A common question I come across with the leaders I work with is “how can I improve the resilience of my colleagues and teams”.  The 4 Cs model, developed by Nan Henderson and Mike Milstein gives some great clues on how you can...

The importance of client empathy

Using client empathy to drive your business forward I’m convinced empathy is a super power, particularly when it’s unleashed towards clients. But how can this be done in an effective, enduring way? In his seminal work, Empathetic Marketing, Mark Ingwer breaks down a...

Are you an AAA leader?

Being an AAA leader Three words that come up consistently during my coaching work are: autonomy, allyship and authenticity. As leaders, we all need to master these 3 As, but how do we do this, and how do we encourage those we lead to develop in each of these areas...

Purpose

Reconciling our personal and work purposes Let me sow a little seed and encourage you to think about your personal and professional purposes and to deepen your understanding of how they interrelate. If it is not apparent to you what your purpose is, there are plenty...

Flow

Get into the flow Are there times when you are in the midst of things and feel invincible, when you believe that you can’t do anything wrong, and you want those moments to go on for as long as possible? The chances are that you are achieving what psychologist Mihaly...

Self-awareness

Growing your self-awareness to empower you as a leader The internet is awash with articles evangelising the importance of self-awareness. In the coaching I do I see a clear link between an individual’s self-awareness and their ability to develop as a leader. One...

The when and how of delegation

The when and how of delegation One of the benefits of working with so many talented individuals in the coaching room is that I am able to support great minds solving similar problems. One of these is when and how to delegate. Our old friend the Boston matrix has...

Be adult; work with adults

Be adult; work with adults Wouldn’t it be great if every organisation was blessed with adults being adult all the time? However, the truth is we all behave differently in different contexts and at different times in the workplace, and sometimes the wrong behaviours...

Should I step in or hold back?

Should I step in or hold back? One of the toughest things to do as a leader is to know when to intervene. Yes, we all like things done our way, but when should we step in and when should we hold back? All too often we act instinctively and intervene when it feels...

Active listening drives better business results

Active listening drives better business results One of the most underrated activities in the workplace has to be listening. We are all so busy doing and wanting to be heard that in the art of listening has almost faded into disuse. Asking that all important question,...